I was on the bus on my way home. It was one of those days when I felt alright. As the bus chuckled on, I rested my head against the bus window and whispered, ‘I am going to do what I came here to do and then I am coming back home.’ I was talking to God.
I had never spoken to God in this manner before and it was some time later before I became conscious of what I said.
‘Coming back home?’ What was I talking about? Why did I even say that? As if to suggest that I existed somehow before I was born and would reconnect with the essence of God after I die. I couldn’t make much sense of it but strangely it settled with a part of my being, a part that emerges from time to time, a part that provides me with a great sense of knowing.
As I thought about these things my mind was brought back to Jeremiah 1:5 when God said to Jeremiah, ‘before I formed you in your Mother’s womb I KNEW you. Before you were born I set you apart and ordained you a prophet to the Nations.’
I wondered about it.
I wondered, ‘how could God have known Jeremiah before he was formed in the womb?’ And if what he is saying is true, what aspect of Jeremiah did he know? Could the same be true of me and you? Could God have known us and made plans for us before we were formed/manifested in the physical realm? And could that then mean that there is an aspect of us that existed before we came here, even if only in God’s “consciousness”?’
The questions became even more real after a friend who recently found out that she is pregnant shared her first ultra sound photo with me. I looked at the little dot in her womb that was the child. ‘That lil thing there is the baby?’ I asked and she joked that the baby looked like a gummy bear. We LOL! It was funny. Yet it was so miraculous. ‘We saw his heart beating this morning’, she told me.
I looked at the photo and saw in a real way what God was saying to Jeremiah, about his life. He was telling him that before He was conceived, before he was that heart beat – before he was like that ‘gummy bear’, he knew him and set him apart to do something specific on earth.
It’s the same way for us. God knows us intimately and there is a part of us that knows him. I think I spoke through that part of my consciousness as I travelled home that night. There was that silent yearning to go back, or go to some place.
There are some aspects of the faith that I never speak of, frankly because I don’t understand it. It is hard for me to speak with true conviction about something I don’t really know for myself. I cannot share that which I don’t understand or that which is not yet a part of my knowing. The idea of Heaven is one of them. I just don’t understand. The idea of Heaven has always been distant, something I could not readily conceive (as ironic as it may be for one who subscribes to Jesus’ teachings).
That night on the bus however I mentioned home, (going back home) as if earth was never where it started and is certainly not where it ends.
It is true that we are just passing through here. We are on a pilgrimage and this becomes realer for some of us after we attend a funeral or someone close to us dies. We see the brevity of life (breath). Life is a journey.
What I want to remind you of today is that we have been put on this journey to do something, to have our own soul experience and enhance the experience of other souls in the process. However, cliché, I am once again reminding you that, you are not on this earth by chance but you have a purpose for being here. Will you one day like me, have that moment of deep awareness and clarity when you decide, ‘I will do what I came here to do and then go back home.’
Remember death is not the end, death is merely a transition and maybe birth was never the beginning.
Let’s make our living (breathing) experience worthwhile.