I wonder when it will end. After one trial and tribulation comes another. I mean just last week I went through a terrible hair week. I had just taken out my weave and had to rest my scalp for a week because it was tender and resting meant wearing my hair in a pony tail for an entire week, nappy roots and all. I had so many persons looking at me strangely. My boss commented, ‘i almost didnt recognise you with your new hairdo’ and the IT Manager asked, ‘Sandie, a wha do yuh head?’
When it got to the weekend, i felt as if it was time for deliverance from the great evil on my head. On Saturday morning I was on my way to the hairdresser by 9 o’clock. I called to confirm that she was present and I listened as she told me she was at the Coronation Market but would soon head home. Normally i would be freaking out but on that particular day i didnt mind, i just wanted to be the first client. I ran to the store and bought two packs of milky way straight black hair and afterwards i went to Tastee to get some food.
When my hairdresser arrived she looked at the hair and asked if it had a hint of blue. I examined the soft mane carefully and told her it seemed fine but she insisted and went on to say that the hair had been dyed. In my mind i was thinking, ‘ahhh Ula you are just ridiculous, just put in the hair and make me look spectacular’.
When she was finished i looked at my big chunky beautiful curls and oh I was ready to take on my work week. On Monday morning the hair looked fine, still big and beautiful. Everyone at the office seemed to approve of the change and the upgrade from the week before. Inside i was beaming, it was a change that was well overdue. By midday i noticed that my nails and the tip of my fingers were changing colour. I walked to the bathroom to wash my hands but a few minutes later my fingers were the same dark colour. I began to wonder if it was my hair that was causing it and i ran my fingers through the hair as a test. As the universe with every tree and plant and sea and high water, low water, river and stream would have it, the dye was coming from the hair. I decided to ignore it, there was one simple solution, stop touching the hair.
I got dressed on Tuesday morning and everything seemed fine with the hair. When i got to my office i went in the bathroom and noticed that the hair looked a little blue but in my heart of hearts i ignored it. I had also decided to spend the day fasting so I wanted nothing to disturb it.
In the afternoon i walked in my boss’ office to ask him to sign a cheque. As I opened the door, I watched as he examined me. There is nothing that passes my boss, not one strand of hair out of place, not one mismatched colour, not one extra inch of shoe, not one cracked nail polish – NOTHING. As i got closer i watched as his eyes rose steadily to my head. I started to breathe heavily as he positioned his glasses on his face to get a better look. Then he asked the question, ‘Is your hair BLUE? You cant wear blue hair to work…’ My toes started to curl in my shoes. Self started talking to self, ‘pupa jezas, him did affi see it, mi muma’.
I started to explain that I had purchased a bad hair and that i would try to take it out as soon as possible. He responded, ‘well i wont trouble you then’.
As i walked back to my office, I glanced at my outfit and had the most startling realization. On that day of all days I was in a full suit of blue.
“Lord, tek di case and gimmi di pilla”