Preparing for Marriage

A few years ago when I was free, single and disengaged I spent a lot of time being concerned, anxious, frustrated and fearful about marriage. My Christian friends (those that were single) and I would spend hours (literally) talking about our expectations, our fears and our fantasies.

Whenever we went to a different church, our a�?marriage antennasa�? would go up, scouting the room, and somehow zooming in on the left hands of the Christian males to see if they were wearing wedding bands – in between listening to the Word of God (of course). We werena��t planning to chase after these young men, but our minds would go wandering – is this my husband? Funny enough sometimes all of us were asking God that question (unknown to each other) about the same man.

I remember clearly one day talking to God about this mystery husband of mine. a�?So God what is he like? Just give me a glimpse of him in a dream Goda��a�� and on and on I went.A� God stopped me right in my tracks, a�?But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.a�? (St. Matthew 6:33).

I had heard the scripture many times before and had also read it in my personal devotions, however for the first time the scripture ministered to me in a real way. I realised that God was saying, a�?daughter I know your heart and its desire for a husband, but all that you seek will be granted to you when you focus on Me (God) and begin fulfilling My (Goda��s) plans for you in My kingdom and become more like Me (God).a�?

That scripture birth a brand new perspective about marriage in my spirit. I remember after receiving this Word from God that I began to actively pursue the things of God that would help me to reflect Christ more. I then started to experience more peace and less anxious moments. I felt joy and a great level of fulfillment and purpose.A�A�

Ita��s not that God is unromantic and doesna��t want no prescription levothyroxine. us to desire husbands or wives, but God actually prepares us for the ministry of marriage before we rush into it. Serving and ministering to the body of Christ allows our abilities, giftings and the fruit of the spirit (love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence) to mature in us. This maturity we would be developing would better equip us to deal with the challenges that will occur in marriage and be able to minister effectively to the needs of our marriage partner.

Now that I have crossed over from singlehood to marriage, I realise how important it is for single persons to utilise this time of preparation God gives to those who will eventually be married. There are certainA� issues that persons struggle with such as irrational fears, insecurities about themselves, the spirit of anger, lack of self control, pornographic addiction and past hurts that if they are not dealt with prior to marriage, can create havoc in marriages.A� Marriage wona��t take away these issues.

God expects that while you are single and waiting on Him to give you a husband or a wife, that you spend the time not getting discouraged and impatient, but to seek Him and allow Him to deliver you from these struggles that you face. The process may be long, but it is a worthwhile investment for the health of your future marriage. So not only will you be better able to minister to and serve your marriage partner but the enemy will not be able to use these struggles as a foothold to damage your marriage.

As you wait for God to bless you with a husband or a wife, have you read the Bible to see how God expects husbands to treat their wives and vice versa? Take a look at this scripture that is directed to wives, a�?When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your]reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere hima��to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband] (1 Peter 3:2).

Now take a look at this one that is directed to husbands, a�?Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.a�? (Ephesians 5: 25-28).

Women, always being respectful to your future husband will not be an easy task, especially for those who have not seen their mother display that virtue towards their father, and men, loving your future wife more than how you love yourself will be no walk in the park; especially when shea��s displaying attitudes that are not lovable. These roles that you will eventually play in the lives of your husbands and wives will not be accomplished over night, but would be learnt as you faithfully serve your brothers and sisters in the Kingdom while being faithful in your relationship with God – not when you are married but starting now!A�

So while waiting on God to fulfil that promise of a wife or a husband, dona��t just sit around idly and get discouraged, frustrated and impatient; seek God wholeheartedly. Focus your attention on finding, pursuing and developing your calling, serving others, using your giftings and abilities to glorify Him while ministering and encouraging others. You should also present Him with your weaknesses so that you can be delivered from them, and spend quality time in prayer, fasting and reading His Word.

Dona��t think ita��s all in vain – it is preparing you for marriage!

(Photo Credit: Pastors Courtney & Caren Morrison)


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