The dreaded words kept ringing in my ears, ‘this relationship ended for me months ago!’ The statement was made a few weeks before by my ex-boyfriend, but the pain was still fresh.
The cold look on his face as he uttered the words tormented my dreams. Depressive thoughts constantly attacked my mind: ‘You just weren’t pretty enough. He got bored of you. You think he would want you as his wife? You are so dumb; you didn’t see all the signs?’
I felt used, rejected and betrayed. I was disappointed. Most of all I was extremely angry.
I decided to try and convince him to give the relationship another try. After all, we loved each other and we were best friends! We could overcome whatever attack the “devil” had launched against our relationship.
As we sat to discuss the matter that night, I was full of optimism in spite of the hurt I felt. But after a few minutes I realized I was barking up the wrong tree. He was even colder than the last time we spoke. He said very little, but his stance was the same.
I felt the anger I harbored for weeks boiling within me. We started arguing and in the midst of it he pointed out that he had already moved on and God had showed him his wife – and it wasn’t me. At that point I lost it.
The anger had reached boiling point and I just exploded! I wanted to do damage. I wanted him to feel some of the pain he was causing me to feel. Within seconds I found myself looking for the nearest weapon I could find to hurt him. Quickly, I reached for a stone and was about to throw it at him when I heard the Holy Spirit say, ‘don’t do it.‘ I slammed the stone against the wall instead, causing a slight crack.
I was shocked!
I had never reacted in such a rage before. I was always calm and controlled. Where had this monster come from? What had happened to the “calm, cool and collected” person I knew myself to be?
It was years later that this experience helped me to understand the devastating effect anger can have on one’s life. It can cause a person to do or say things he or she never imagined they would ever do.It can open doors to much evil.
I had allowed my anger to build up for weeks and it gave the devil access to my life. In those weeks as I processed everything my ex boyfriend did I became bitter, depressed and angry. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us, ‘when angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].’
When we allow our anger to persist overtime, even for just one night it creates room for unforgiveness, depression, bitterness, revenge, and a host of other corrupt behaviour.
Situations will always happen in our every day lives that will cause us to be angry and God knows this but He does not want us to sin because of it. He encourages us to let go of anger quickly before it takes root in our hearts.
You may be thinking that it is too late for you – you have already let a few weeks pass and you are still angry. You may even be feeling resentful and deeply hurt right at this very moment. Well guess what? You are reading this article just in the nick of time!
God desires to heal your hurt and your pain. Submit that anger you are feeling to Him. Let it go! Only then will you begin to experience his joy and His peace and full freedom from the person/s who may have hurt you.